Chasing Forever
by raven lynn morrigan
Summary: ...Somehow everyone he allowed close to him dies and he doesn't think he could bear to lose anyone else. Robin he wonders why his future self sent her back to her own time knowing what would happen to her... COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

I was never happy with the first version of this story and edited twice with in a year of posting it online. Someone asked if there would be a sequel which is the main reason that spurred the edit. I just couldn't make one work without changing the things I hated in the original version. To all of those that liked the first version, I hope you will enjoy the updated version as well. Please review and let me know what you think.

Chasing Forever

Robin sits alone in his room at Titans Tower replaying the day's tragic events over and over trying to figure out exactly where everything went wrong and how he could have prevented it.

_ The Titans have just stopped Cinderblock's latest destructive rampage. They are about to return to the tower when a mysterious group dressed in black hooded cloaks appears. They begin attacking the Titans without so much as a word. It isn't clear what they want until Starfire is separated from the group. Three of them gang up on her-wrestling her to the ground. There is a tremendous explosion as they simply explode. There is nothing anyone can do to help her. Raven is the only one able to break away and get to Starfire. Angered Robin furiously attacks those around him-he is only vaguely aware that they were chanting some foreign sounding words-he has no idea that are directed at him. His only concern is Starfire. Everyone freezes when Raven cries out-the mysterious group disappears as everyone rushes toward the girls. Starfire was hurt too bad for even Raven's healing powers to save her. Cyborg tries to comfort Raven-but she is taking it hard because no one had ever died while she was trying to save them._

Everything after that is a blur to Robin. He wants to believe that everything was just some horrible dream and that when he wakes up Starfire will be flitting around the tower in her always cheerful manor. Starfire was so strong-something like this was not supposed to happen to her. Robin cared deeply for Starfire-he can't call it love-but they shared something he never felt for anyone else and as far as he is concerned at this very moment he never will. It seems that everyone close to him dies and he doesn't think he can bare to lose anyone else. Robin sits on his bed holding a picture of Starfire-wondering why his future self would have sent Starfire back to her own time when he knew what was going to happen to her. His thoughts are interrupted by frantic banging on his door. All he wants right now is to be alone. He doesn't feel up to facing the others right now. He is the leader-he's supposed to be strong when things like this happen but he just doesn't feel up to it right now.

"Yo Robin, open up-we need you now!"

Robin lays the picture down on the bed. He gets up and walks over the door, which slides open to reveal Cyborg. "What is it?"

"Raven...you saw how upset she got when she couldn't save Starfire with her healing powers. She locked herself in her room and she won't answer BB or me. We're scared she's going to hurt herself-we thought maybe she would listen to you."

Robin runs along side Cyborg down to Raven's room where Beast Boy is desperately trying to coax Raven into opening the door. "Raven come on please let me in!" Beast Boy turns to Robin as he stops beside him. "Dude you have to get Raven to come out."

Robin steps up to the locked door-he stands there a few seconds as he realizes if can't get Raven to open up-he may well lose someone else close to him. "Raven-it's Robin. I need you to open the door so we can talk."

The only sound to be heard is that of Raven crying.

"Raven please-I just want to make sure you're okay."

The sound of Raven crying stops abruptly the sudden sound of silence is terrifying.

"Raven-I'm ordering you to open the door."

Only silence answers back.

Robin looks at the keypad on his right that controls the door locks-each Titan has their own code to keep the others out of their room-no one but Raven ever seemed to bother with it. He remembers there is an override code-in case of emergencies but right now he can't remember it. Robin pries the keypad from the wall with his bare hands-exposing the wiring behind it. He pulls out some of the wires and the door slides open to reveal Raven sitting on her knees in front of her bed. From his vantage point he can clearly see the dagger in her hands. Robin turns to Cyborg and Beast Boy, "Let me talk to Raven alone. I'll come get you once she's calmed down."

Reluctantly Cyborg and Beast Boy leave the hallway and head down to OPS as Robin reconnects the wires so the door will close. Robin cautiously enters Raven's room.

"Go away."

"Raven please put down the dagger." Robin eases closer to Raven as he speaks.

"I couldn't save her."

"You tried-that are what matters."

"I didn't try hard enough."

"You did everything you could Raven."

"She was such a good friend-I never told her that."

"I'm sure she knows how you feel Raven."

"Then she must also know how terrible I am."

"Raven that isn't true."

Raven stands up and faces Robin. "I was jealous of what the two of you had. She could share her feelings with you and it didn't affect her powers...but most of all I was jealous because she had you."

"Raven you're just upset because you felt that way-it had nothing to do with you not being able to save Starfire. She was hurt too bad for even you to help her and deep down you know that. You just don't realize it because you're hurting right now-we all are."

"I don't deserve to live." Raven holds the knife to her chest-ready to bury it in her heart.

"Do you think Starfire would want you to do this?"

Raven stands there staring at Robin for several seconds before she faints. Robin rushes to her-barely managing to catch her before she hits the floor. He takes the dagger from her hand and throws it back toward the door. As he kneels there holding Raven in his arms he thinks about what she just admitted to him-that she has feelings for him. He is afraid to let her get any closer to him than he already has-because he has had feelings for her ever since she entered his mind and saved him from the chemical reagent that nearly killed him a year ago. Those feelings aren't the same as he felt for Starfire-but what he feels for Raven is strong enough that if given time-it could turn into something more. Suddenly Robin begins to feel strange-like he is somehow losing control over himself-he has no idea it is connected to the strange chat that the mysterious group said earlier before they disappeared.

*****

When Raven comes too-she finds herself in Robin's arms. As she recalls what was said between them-she is sure that he must hate her. "Robin, I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you--"

Robin places a single finger on Raven's lips to quiet her. He brushes some stray hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear as he speaks. "Hush now Raven. I'm not upset with you-in fact I'm rather glad you told me how you feel." Robin caresses Raven's cheek with his hand. "I must confess-that I have had feelings for you for quite some time now. It's a pity that we didn't realize how felt sooner-but at least we're free to make up for that lost time now."

"How could you even think of something like that? Starfire loved you." Raven tries to get up but Robin holds her still.

"You're not going anywhere my dear."

"Robin please stop it you're scaring me."

"I come in here to find you holding a knife ready to kill yourself and you say I'm scaring you?"

"What is wrong with you? You don't sound like yourself-you sound like Slade."

"There is nothing wrong with me-my dear." Robin kisses Raven passionately.

Raven tries to pull away from Robin-but he holds her still as he removes her cape and tosses it aside. When she feels like she is going to suffocate, Robin finally lets Raven up for air. "We can't do this...it's wrong." Raven squirms desperately trying to free herself from Robin's grasp as he kisses her again. This time Robin forces his tongue into her mouth. Raven doesn't want to hurt Robin-but she has to get out of this situation before it goes too far-so she bites his tongue to make him stop. When Robin's only response is to hold her tighter Raven-in desperation-rakes her finger nails down the side of his face leaving deep bleeding cuts on his cheek.

Robin pulls back from Raven-angered he slaps her-hard-across the face. "Never try that again." Tears begin to fall from Raven's eyes. Robin responds by licking them away before plunging his tongue back into to her mouth. At the same time he unzips her leotard and pulls it down off her shoulders.

Raven panics as blood seeps into her mouth from the wound on Robin's tongue. She tries to push him away-but she can't. As her mouth slowly fills with blood she is forced to swallow because he won't let her go. Frantically she begins beating on him with her fists to make him stop.

Robin pulls back and captures Raven's wrists in his hands. "If that is the way you want to play..." Holding both of her wrists in one hand-Robin opens a compartment on his utility belt and takes out a set of handcuffs he keeps with him. As he maneuvers her beneath him he pulls her arms free from the sleeves of her leotard.

To Raven's horror Robin forces her to the floor and cuffs her hands to the bedpost. She struggles against her bonds even though she knows it is useless. "Robin...please don't do this."

Robin's only response is to pull the leotard all the way off her-along with her boots. For now she still has on her bra and panties-but he wants to see her completely naked. Robin gets up-but only to undress himself.

Raven looks away as Robin completes his task and straddles her nearly naked form. "Why are you doing this?"

"We are birds of a feather--we belong together Raven." Robin rips Raven's bra and panties from her body-leaving her naked and vulnerable as she trembles beneath him. Robin kisses Raven again-but this time he trails kisses down her neck- all the way to her breasts-leaving trails of blood from his bleeding tongue as he goes.

Raven whimpers as Robin bites her nipple and forcefully begins to suck the blood that flows from the wound. "Please stop...if you let me go now I won't tell anyone about this."

Robin clamps his hand over her throat-just barely allowing her to breathe. "You won't tell anyone-anything if you know what's good for you." Robin keeps his hand on her throat as he as he focuses on her other nipple-bitting harder this time. Raven begins to feel faint as he again sucks her blood-but he grips her throat tighter restricting her breathing even more and bringing her back to reality. "You won't get away that easily my dear." Robin continues trailing kisses down Raven's body until he reaches her most private area-but Raven keeps her legs clamped tightly together. "Open up Raven." When Raven refuses to move Robin takes a birdarang from his nearby utility belt-with his free hand-and holds the sharp end against Raven's face. "Don't make me tell you twice."

When Raven doesn't move Robin slowly rakes the birdarang across her cheek. As blood begins to pour from the wound fresh tears fall from Raven's eyes. This time out of fear of what he might do if she doesn't-she opens herself to him. She cries out from the pain as he thrusts himself inside her.

"You didn't tell me you were a virgin, Raven."

Raven struggles frantically against her bonds-the cold metal of the handcuffs cutting into her flesh as Robin continues to violently thrust himself in and out of her. It seems to her like an eternity until Robin finally comes inside her and ceases his assault-but there is something different about him now-he seems to change somehow.

Suddenly Robin becomes aware of what is going on-the last thing he remembers is Raven fainting. Now he finds her handcuffed beneath him and he is gripping her throat so tight his hand hurts. Robin quickly pulls away from Raven and releases her from the handcuffs. "Raven, I...I'm sorry I don't know what came over me...the last thing I remember is catching you when you fainted." Robin tries to help Raven up-but she pushes him away.

"Get away from me!" Raven pulls the blanket from her bed and holds it around her naked form. Her wrists-bloody from struggling against the handcuffs-leave streaks of blood on the blanket. Bruises already appearing on her neck and face stand out sharply against her pale skin and the wounds on her face and nipples still bleed. Blood from the wound on Robin's tongue is trailed down her body beginning from where he licked away the tears as they fell from her eyes.

Robin frantically grabs his clothing and makes himself decent. "I don't know what just happened...but it is only right for you to press charges."

"Do you think Star fire would want me to do that?"

"I deserve that--"

"--Get out."

Robin doesn't yet move, "Raven...I--"

"Get out of here now or I'll send you straight to hell once I regain control of my powers!"

Robin gathers his things and leaves Raven's room. He lingers momentarily outside of the door. He knows she is scared and didn't mean what she said. He feels he should go to her and work this out but he can't stop himself from returning to his own room.

Raven tries to get up-but she is in a great deal of pain. Her legs refuse to support her weight-so she just lays there in the floor where she is and cries.

When Robin enters to his room he sits down on the bed with his head in his hands. He can't get the sight of Raven lying bloody and bruised beneath him out of his mind. As he looks up he catches sight of himself in the mirror-Raven's blood is still on his mouth mingled with his own and the cuts on his cheek are still bleeding. He gets up and walks over to the mirror. "You're no better than the person who killed your parents." Robin draws back his fist and punches the mirror with all his might. Shards of glass fall all around him as he sinks down to his knees. "Raven was wrong-I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live." Robin picks up a shard of the broken mirror and holds it in his hand. It is only then that he realizes he left the dagger in Raven's room. Dropping the shard of glass he gets up and runs from his room.

Raven notices the dagger lying close to her door as she hears the sound of shattering glass somewhere in the tower-still unable to get up she manages to crawl over to it. She leans back against her door and picks up the dagger. Holding it in her trembling hands she once again aims the blade toward her heart. She is about to plunge it deep into her chest when the door opens.

As Raven tumbles backward into the hall Robin grabs the dagger from her hand. He picks her up-carries her inside and lays her down on her bed. He quickly picks up the blanket and covers Raven's naked form.

"Why won't you let me die?"

Robin answers in an almost inaudible whisper. "Because I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live." Robin leaves Raven's room and sinks to the floor in the hallway with the dagger still in hand.

Cyborg and Beast Boy turn the corner and run down the hall. Beast Boy stands there in total shock at Robin's appearance. Shards of glass are embedded in one of Robin's hands and his knees-blood is quickly soaking the usually green attire and there are cuts on his face.

"What happened to you?"

Robin looks up at Cyborg. "I'm not exactly sure-all I can remember is that I was trying to save Raven. You should go to her-she doesn't need to be left alone right now." Beast Boy watches as Robin gets up and walks down the hallway-still carrying the dagger.

Cyborg enters Raven's room and finds her cowering beneath the blood stained blanket. Looking at her clothes scattered around the bed and the wounds on her face and neck-he knows something bad went down between the birds. "Rae...what happened?"

Raven doesn't answer-she just cries as Cyborg lifts her up from the bed-still covered by the blanket and carries her out of her room and up to the infirmary.

Robin goes back to his room and sits down on the bed. He gets the strange feeling again and is unable to fight it as he is fully aware of what he is being forced to do this time. Robin takes the dagger and plunges it into his heart.

Beast Boy follows Cyborg and stands nearby once they reach the infirmary. Cyborg lays Raven down on the nearest bed suddenly Raven grabs her head and cries out."

"Raven what's wrong?

"Robin..."

Beast Boy runs from the infirmary down to Robin's room. There he finds Robin lying on his bed with the knife buried in his chest.

In the infirmary-Cyborg tries to get Raven to calm down. She is upset not only because she felt Robin die as the bond they once shared slipped away-but at the moment of his death she had a vision which she is in no state of mind to focus on. all she can make sense of from it is that revealed that sometime in the near future Slade reappears-and is after Robin's new born daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a little more than a month since the Titans lost two of their own and the entire city has been in shock ever since. Despite the remaining team member's wishes details of what happened that night in the tower after Starfire's death were released to the public. No one wanted to believe Robin was capable of doing the horrible thing he did to Raven-and in light of recent information finally released by the coroner-he may not have been at fault for any of his actions that night.

"So...what your saying is that Robin had more of that stuff in his system that nearly killed him when he was chasing shadows all over the place--only you think someone was using it to control him somehow?"

Cyborg looks up from the copy of the report he is reading. "Yeah according to this report, but something is different about the chemical make-up this time. It isn't the same thing that was on the Slade mask, but it reacts in the same way. How else can you explain what he did to Raven?"

"But he didn't act like he did the last time that stuff was in his system. He seemed completely normal until we left him alone with Raven."

"That's what I don't understand, BB. Something had to make him do what he did to Raven. He just wouldn't attack her like that-unless he was forced to.

"Maybe he just snapped-he and Starfire were really close. He could have attacked Raven because he was upset that she didn't save her."

"No--not even Robin is capable of doing that."

"Are you sure. He did join Slade once-and you remember what he did when he created that Red X suit."

"I remember. It could have been the group that killed Starfire. We don't know anything about them."

"We need to find out. They could come after us too...so are you going to tell Raven what the report says?"

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea. She is just starting to get over what he did to her."

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy look up as Raven enters OPS through one of the side entrances. She carries in her hand what at first glance looks like nothing more than a pen.

Raven stands there silently for a few moments before speaking in a voice that barely qualifies as a whisper. "I--I'm pregnant."

Cyborg and Beast Boy get up and rush over to Raven as she faints. As Cyborg picks Raven up and carries her over to the sofa-Beast Boy picks up the object she dropped. It turns out to be a home pregnancy test with a positive reading.

"Beast Boy go get a wash cloth and dampen it with cool water."

As Beast Boy gets the wash cloth Cyborg gazes down at Raven. She has become paler than normal, she has lost so much weight, and her hair has grown longer than she usually keeps it. Because she didn't use her powers to heal her wounds she has a scar running down the right side of her face as well as scars around both of her wrists. She hasn't even touched her uniforms-all she wears are sweat suits that might have once fit her but look much too big for her now.

Beast Boy hands Cyborg the damp cloth when he comes back. "This is the last thing she needs to go through right now."

Cyborg folds up the cloth and places it on Raven's forehead. As Raven begins to stir the doorbell rings.

Beast Boy hands Cyborg the pregnancy test Raven dropped. "I'll get it-you stay here with Raven." As Beast Boy leaves the room Raven opens her eyes.

Cyborg helps Raven sit up. "Are you okay-Rae?"

Tears well up in Raven's eyes. "I don't hate him-I knew something was making him act that way...but I just can't get what happened out of my mind. And now I'm carrying his child-I don't know if I should be sad, angry, or glad."

" 'Glad' ?"

"That at least a part of him lives on with the baby...I had a vision when he died--about a baby girl--I just didn't think at the time that..."

"You already know the baby is a girl?"

Beast Boy comes back carrying a package-which he hands to Raven. "This just came for you."

Raven opens the box to find the dagger Robin used to kill himself. Terrified she drops the box.

Cyborg holds Raven as she trembles on the verge of tears. "Who sent that?"

Beast Boy picks up the box and looks for a note. "Slade."

"No-he can't have her--I won't let him take her!" Raven breaks down into tears.

Cyborg sits beside Raven and holds her in his arms. "He won't take the baby-Rae--we will make sure of it."

Beast Boy looks at the note again as Cyborg takes Raven to her room. "That's not what the note says he wants." He looks up as Cyborg leaves the room-he is about to call out to him-but he stops-waiting they shouldn't talk about this in front of Raven and upset her anymore than she already is.

-----------

Robin awakens in the body of a male teenager that has long since been brain dead-but his body was kept alive by machines. Robin isn't quite sure how this happened or why he had even committed suicide in the first place. It was like something forced him to do it-because he certainly wouldn't have taken that way out. He didn't mean to hurt Raven-didn't even remember doing it-but he would have taken his punishment for the crime. He had devoted his life to crime fighting so what kind of person would he be if he took the easy way out for something he did wrong?

"None of it was your fault."

Robin looks over beside the hospital bed he's laying in to see Starfire standing there-although he knows she couldn't really be there. He starts to say something but she cuts him off.

"Please do not speak. You have been brought back because you are needed to help save this world. You have much to do and that begins with saving Raven and your child." Starfire notices Robin's look of confusion at what she just said. "Raven is with child now-your child. The child is very special and can never fall into the hands of evil. As for Raven-she has not been well. She is slowly falling apart...you must help her. Go to her-care for her-you do not have to love her just be there for her. You are her best friend-you understand her better than anyone. You cannot allow anyone to know who you are-not yet. They will find out on their own in time." Robin starts to speak again but Starfire cuts him off. "I know you are scared you may loose those close to you but you will find that you need Raven just as much as she needs you."

"Brought back?" Robin now notices a priest nearby as Starfire disappears--with an eye patch over one eye. Something about the book he carries just doesn't look right. It's no Bible--he is sure of that.

"They are still watching the others. You must be careful to never reveal yourself to anyone."

The man's voice sounds so familiar to Robin. He watches as the man quickly leaves before he can ask anymore questions.

Starfire disappears as a doctor comes over on his daily rounds. He is clearly shocked to see the person they had given up on awake and looking up at him.

-----------

Cyborg finally gets Raven calmed down enough so that she can go to sleep and get some much needed rest. He has a sneaking suspicion that sleep isn't something she has had a whole lot of in the last month or so. Cyborg leaves Raven alone in her room and goes back down to OPS where Beast Boy is waiting. "She is resting now."

"We have to get her help, Cy. She barely eats-I've not even seen her eat anything in over a week."

"The last time I saw her with anything was that herbal tea she drinks and I don't think women are even supposed to drink that stuff while they're pregnant. But you're right BB we can't let her go on in the condition she's in. We shouldn't even have let it go on this long. I'm going to make her an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow."

As Cyborg makes the call to a doctor, Beast Boy stares at the note from Slade. He hands it to Cyborg so he can read it. Right now he has an overwhelming urge to put the dagger in a safe place. As he looks for a place to store the dagger he passes by Robin's old room. "I wish you were still here dude-despite what happened Raven needs you."


	3. Chapter 3

It has been almost a week now since the package from Slade arrived. Beast Boy has insisted that Raven take a closer look at the note. After the vision she had she doesn't want to, but now she finds herself starting to doubt those visions. Had she been able to make sense of the one she had when Terra came back Robin wouldn't have allowed her back on the team. Raven goes down the evidence room where Beast Boy had basically hidden it in plain sight. It's quite clever for the boy she thinks. She picks up the box and takes out the note. She reads over it several times. Slade has no reason to know that she's pregnant. The note came on the very day that she finally got up the nerve to take a pregnancy test. She finally dares to pick up the dagger-her hand trembles as she does so. She had intended to take her life with this scared object from Azarath. As she lifts the dagger out of the box she notices something fall to the floor. She quickly replaces the dagger then kneals down to pick up the piece of paper. It is the address of the chruch where she fled with Robin on her birthday. She quickly turns and leaves the room with the address in hand.

Cyborg stops when he sees Raven rush down the hall. He follows to make sure she's okay, but he stops when he sees her make a turn for the garage. He stays far enough behind to find out what she's doing. He watches her as she gets in the old car they used for errands before he built the T-car. He lets her leave before getting into the T-car and following from a safe distance.

*****

Raven looks around before finally pushing open the doors of the church. She finds it deserted-which doesn't suprise her for this time of night. She jumps startled as the doors close behind her. This is one place that she doesn't feel comfortable being since she was sired by a demon from the 8th level of hell. She turns around thinking that this was a mistake--she has to stifle a scream when she finds a man wearing an eye patch over one eye and dressed as a priest behind her.

"I was beginning to think that you would not come."

"Slade?"

"They are watching you."

"Who are they?"

"Your father's cult. I'm sure you can guess what they want."

Raven places her hands protectivly over her stomach. "No...no they can't have her. I won't let them take her."

"One will come to protect you, but you must be careful of who you trust."

"What do you mean?"

"They are out there on the streets-watching--waiting to capture you when you least expect it. Maybe not today, tomarrow, or even next week-but they will come. If they capture you there will be no way to save the world this time."

"Why are you helping?"

"Why...as I once told Robin, what your father has planned for this world, not even I would wish it. He must be stopped, and the child you carry now has to the power to either unleash him, or stop him for good."

"You couldn't have told me this when--"

"--It was not your destiny."

"Destiny!? It was once said that I was destined to destroy this world."

"And for a time you did. You should go now, Cyborg is looking for you."

"Cyborg?" Raven turns as the door to the chruch opens.

"Rae?" Cyborg looks around until he spots Raven. "I didn't know you were religous."

Raven turns back to see Slade walking away. "Neither did I. Why are you following me?"

"You didn't take it well when I set up those appointments for you. I thought...I mean--"

"--that I was trying to run away? If I were going to do that I would make sure you didn't see me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home."

Cyborg stands back as Raven walks past him. He takes another look at the preist.

Raven stops when she reaches the old car. Slade had said to be careful whom she trusts and right now-powers or no she has a bad feeling about this doctor."

-------

Robin is still very much in shock over having awakened in a 'new' body. He doesn't like taking over someone else's life. He sits in a room now that never belonged to him-in a house where parents are glad to finally have who they think is their son back after so long. "This isn't fair."

"It could not be avoided."

"Star?"

"You must go to Raven."

"I can't just leave these people."

"Their son died over a year ago."

"They don't know that."

"Don't they?"

"Why would they keep this body alive if they knew that."

"You once lost your parents. You know how hard it is to let go, even when you know the truth."

"What happened to you? This isn't the Starfire that I remember."

"I do feel bad for these people, but the world is at stake Robin-or have you forgotten that you once went to hell to save it? Perhaps he was right after all."

"Who was right? That priest?"

"He thought that we should go to Terra, rather than trying to bring you back."

"Terra?" Robin looks up at a knock on the door.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Just thinking outloud." Robin takes a deep breath-it's now or never. "There is something I need to talk to you about."


	4. Chapter 4

Robin finally makes it to Jump City a week later. It wasn't easy getting away from the parents of the guy this body originally belonged to-but somehow he managed it. This body is older and taller than his original was. The hair is black-but long enough to put into a ponytail and he has striking gray eyes-but he has found that wearing a mask he could actually pass for his former self.

As he gets off the bus in Jump City-Robin finds a nearby motel and checks in. He hasn't yet thought of a way to get in touch with the Titans. Seeing if they wanted new members would be one way-but just showing up out of the blue might not be the best idea. After unpacking Robin decides to go to the park for a walk hoping it will help him think.

At the park Robin-after walking around for awhile-suddenly stops. As he looks up Raven is sitting there under a tree looking through a bird guidebook. Robin just stands there staring at Raven-it is a shock to see her with scars on her wrists and her face-even more shocking is just how pale and thin she is-even her hair is longer than normal. She isn't even wearing her uniform and robin has rarely seen her without her cloak.

Raven looks up to see a guy staring at her. "Can I help you?"

Robin notices there isn't the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice-she sounds just as fragile as she looks. Thinking quickly he points to her book. "I was just wondering if you are into bird watching-I've been thinking about taking it up as a hobby."

"No...I'm looking for a name-for my baby. Since her father and I both have bird names-it just feels right for her to have one too."

He sits down near Raven-but not close enough to make her uncomfortable. "Why did you sound so sad when you mentioned the baby's father?"

"Haven't you heard the news lately?"

"I'm new here...I've been in a coma for quite sometime-so I really don't know what is going on anywhere."

"We were Titans-the baby's father and I. A teammate of ours was killed in a battle-something made the baby's father--controlled him somehow...that's how I got pregnant and he committed suicide after that. I know he never would have done that to me. He was my best friend and despite what happened I miss him." Raven places her hand on her stomach as she blinks back her tears. "At least a part if him is still here."

"What names are you thinking of?"

"I like Wren best. I like Penguin too...I never should have let Beast Boy drag me out to that movie. It probably isn't a good idea for a name because a villain in Gotham City goes by that."

"In a way I think it's sort of cute...you shouldn't let that bother you if you like that name."

Cyborg and Beast Boy come running up. Out of breath Beast Boy collapses onto the grass. "We've been looking all over for you Raven."

"Sorry...I just needed to get away from the tower for awhile."

Cyborg kneels beside Raven. "Just tell us next time okay." Hands Raven her communicator. "And keep this with you."

Beast Boy looks over at the guy with Raven. "Are you going to introduce us to your friend Rae?"

"Actually I don't think I mentioned my name-we kind of got caught up in our conversation. I'm Richard--I just arrived here in Jump City this afternoon."

Cyborg shakes hands with the guy-not knowing that it's really Robin. "Welcome to Jump City, Richard."

"Thanks, man."

"I'm Cyborg-the one passed out there is Beast Boy, and you've already met Raven."

Beast Boy sets up and looks at his watch. "Umm...we're supposed to have Raven at the doctor in half an hour-we really should get going."

Robin notices that Raven isn't happy about having to go to the doctor-he guesses that's probably why she left the tower in the first place. "It was nice to met all of you."

Raven looks up as Robin stands up. "It was...nice talking to you."

"Likewise, you take care."

Cyborg and Beast Boy watch Raven as the guy they just met leaves. She almost looks like she is smiling-neither of them comment on it though.

On the way back to the motel Robin passes a shop that sells stuffed animals. In the window he sees a penguin. He goes in and buys it to give to Raven for the baby the next time he sees her.

*****

Later that night at the tower Cyborg and Beast Boy set in OPS talking to Raven about earlier today.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to--"

Cyborg-places his hand on Raven's. "--We're not mad at you Rae-you just scared us."

"Yeah, Rae-you really don't need to be out by yourself-what if any of the villains we fight find out you have a baby on the way?"

Raven places her hands in her lap and looks down. "I didn't think about that."

"Rae, BB and I were talking earlier-we thought it would be a good idea to hire someone to come stay with you when we can't be here."

"We're just not sure who we could trust to do that."

Raven looks up at the guys. "Richard...I know we just met him today-but I really trust him."

Cyborg stares at Raven a few moments before speaking. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes-I am." Raven stands up and yawns. "I'm getting tired-I think I'll go to bed early."

Cyborg and Beast Boy watch as Raven leaves the room. They look back at each other after she is gone. After a moment of silence-Cyborg is the first one to speak.

"I think Rae likes that guy."

"Was it just me or did he remind you of Robin?"

"Maybe he looked like him a little."

"If you ask me he acted like him too. Do you think he has a long lost twin brother or something?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Or maybe it really is Robin back from the dead-we never did see him without the mask."

"Richard isn't Robin-Beast Boy. He just looks like him-that is all. Raven actually seemed almost...happy while he was there. Maybe we should give him a chance. He has to be an okay guy-Rae wouldn't trust just anyone like that."

"If he makes her happy and he wants to come here-why not? Maybe he can help Raven get over what happened."


	5. Chapter 5

A week after they unknowingly meet Robin as Richard-Cyborg and Beast Boy are again taking Raven to the doctor-but these weekly visits are with a local psychologist and Raven hates them.

Raven sits in the backseat of the T-car looking out the window on the way to her latest appointment. "Why are you making me do this?"

Cyborg glances at Raven through the rear view mirror. "We are concerned about you, Rae."

"Yeah-we just want to make sure you're okay."

"You never bothered me before."

Beast Boy turns around to look at Raven. "You're pregnant now, Rae."

"Then why aren't you taking me the OBGYN? We have been together for several years now. You know that I have always been this way. I don't need a doctor because I will always be this way-I have to be to control my powers."

Cyborg glances back at Raven again. "We realize that-but look at yourself Raven-you obviously need some help right now."

"There is nothing anyone can do to help." Raven doesn't say it but she thinks silently to herself that Robin would understand and wouldn't force something like this on her.

Cyborg has tried to be as understanding with Raven-who is like a sister to him-as he can but it is hard because she won't open up and let anyone in. She has never done that with anyone but Robin. As Cyborg pulls the T-car into a parking space in front of the doctor's office-he shuts off the engine he motions for Beast Boy to leave him alone with Raven. As Beast Boy gets out of the car, Cyborg turns to look at Raven. "Rae-if you would just talk me-I wouldn't make you do this."

Tears fall from Raven's eyes as she starts to speak. "I was raped-is that what you want to hear!? I was raped and I was powerless to stop it! I can lift over two tons with my mind-I can phase through solid objects-heal wounds-travel through other dimensions-read minds-I have visions of the future-I can levitate myself to fly-somehow I can even stop time-but I couldn't stop my best friend from raping me!"

Cyborg gets out of the T-car and gets into the backseat with Raven as she breaks down crying. "That's it Rae-just let it all out." Cyborg holds Raven, as she cries-it is the first time he has seen her cry since the night it happened. "If you promise that you will talk to me-I won't make you go to the doctor again."

Raven pulls away from Cyborg and looks him in the eyes. "I promise."

"Why didn't you heal your wounds-Rae? You could have done that and not had any scars."

"I...I just...my powers...as happened-it was like someone turned a key and shut them off somehow."

"So you're saying that--"

"--After I had the vision...my powers were gone."

"Why didn't you say anything before now?"

"You didn't ask." Raven hadn't meant to be sarcastic-the answer just came to her-out of habit more than anything else.

Cyborg pulls Raven back into a hug. "Now that is the Raven-we all know and love."

"Cyborg."

"What?"

"You're hugging me."

"Trust me-it's for your own good."

"You're just lucky I can't do anything about it right now."

Cyborg finally lets go of Raven. "Seriously-Rae-are you okay now?"

"Not okay-but better."

"Then lets get out of here...how does pizza sound?"

"Sounds good to me."

Cyborg gets out of the backseat and waves to Beast Boy-who is sitting on a nearby bench-before getting back into the driver's seat.

Beast Boy comes back and gets to the front seat beside Cyborg as he starts the engine. "We're leaving? What did I miss?"

From the backseat Raven can't stop herself from throwing Beast Boy a smart-aleck comment. "The Easter Bunny."

Beast Boy looks back at Raven dumbfounded as Cyborg starts to laugh. "Huh? I don't get it."

Cyborg calms down as he drives the T-car out of the parking lot. "I should have become a psychologist."

"To help the Easter bunny?"

"Yes-Beast Boy-that's exactly what he's talking about."

Suddenly it hits Beast Boy after Raven's last comment."

"Raven-you're feeling better now!"

*****

After leaving the pizza place Cyborg stops by the grocery store on the way home. As Cyborg parks the T-car they see Robin-who they now know as Richard on the sidewalk.

Robin turns to see the Titans when Raven calls out to him. Robin notices that Cyborg and Beast Boy seem to be in shock over the fact that Raven called out to him. He goes over to talk to them-from the backpack he's carrying with him-he takes out the toy penguin that he got for Raven's baby and hands it to her. "I was hoping to run into you. I bought this for your baby."

"You remembered...thank you."

Robin can tell that Raven is very touched by the gift. "I thought you might like to have it for the baby. A little something to help explain what you were thinking of naming, if you decide not to."

Cyborg and Beast Boy exchange a glance. Beast Boy clears his throat, "Rae...we should go in and get started with the shopping."

Raven glances at first Beast Boy-then Cyborg-before she puts the penguin in the backseat of the T-car. "It was very nice to see you again."

"Like wise."

Raven follows Beast Boy into the store.

"Raven-don't let Beast Boy near the tofu!"

Robin turns to look at Cyborg when she is gone. "She looks like she feels better."

"Yeah-I finally got her to open up earlier. I'm glad we ran into you-I wanted to talk to you to about something."

"Okay...I'm listening."

"We want someone to come to the tower to stay with her when we can't be there to keep her safe. When we mentioned it to Raven-she wanted you."

Robin knows this is the chance he has been waiting for-but he knows not to seem over-edger. "We just met a week ago."

"Yeah-but Raven won't trust just anyone. That night after you met she seemed almost happy and even before what happened to her-I've never seen her that way. Beast Boy and I talked about it-we will give you the chance if you want it."

"That's a lot to think about. Can you give me some time to consider it?"

"Sure." Cyborg rummages around inside the T-car until he finds something with the phone number to the tower on it. "Give us a call once you decide. I got to go now and hit the meat section before Beast Boy tries to stop me." Cyborg sets the alarm on the T-car.

"I take it he doesn't eat meat."

"No and it's just because he can turn into animals--personally I don't get it. See you around man."

"See you."

Robin watches as Cyborg goes into the grocery store. On the way back to the motel Robin comes across--the priest he saw when he woke up in the hospital. He follows him into a nearby Catholic church. He follows the man to the confessional as he is motioned over. The sliding door is soon opened. "You are not a real priest are you?"

"This is one of the few places that they're eyes cannot reach."

"Who are they?"

"The ones who killed you and Starfire?"

"They are the cult of Scaythe. Just count yourself lucky that they were not around the first time Trigon tried to end the world."

"Slade?"

"I used to be that and much worse."

"So...what? You want me to believe that you are on the side of good now?"

"I am against Trigon."

"Funny-you were ready to sell this world out to him before."

"The promise of untold power was appealing, but as you saw, I had a back up plan in case that didn't work out."

"Leading me to Raven, just so I could help you get what you wanted?"

"If it were not for me Raven wouldn't have been alive for you to find."

"What do you mean?"

"The chemicals in your system that made you hallucinate. I did it on purpose because I knew Raven would save you--forming a bond with her that would save her when the time came. That connection is also what allowed your spirit to be pulled into a new form."

"Why just bring me back? Why not Star too?"

"She has chosen to watch over you all in a way she never could in a physical form. We were lucky to find a body who's soul had long since departed that was kept alive by machines. As of yet no soulless female forms have been found. Should there ever be-she can be brought back if she chooses. You had to be brought back for Raven's sake."

"So what is exactly is going on here? Why did they want me to ra..."

"...Raven's usefulness as a portal for Trigon has passed, they need a new child to do so. Why should the cult find another mother to bear the beast offspring, when they still have his child. You should go now, we should not be seen together. Get to Raven, but do nothing to reveal who you are to anyone. Just protect her because we may not get the chance to stop what is coming if they capture her."

The confessional door is closed and Robin soon finds himself alone.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later Robin sees Raven again-this time at the local library-where he is doing some research on the cult of Scathye.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

Raven looks up from the shelf of books startled at first until she sees who he is. "Richard-I was getting worried."

"Why?"

"Cyborg said he talked to you about coming to the tower."

"Yeah-I've been thinking about that."

"Have you decided yet?"

"I don't think I could say no to you." Robin watches as Raven almost smiles-but there is a sparkle in her eyes that he's only seen once before-when she hugged him after they defeated her father.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah-you bet. I was planning to call later today."

"Why wait? Cyborg and Beast Boy are outside."

Robin and Raven check out their chosen books and go outside to give Cyborg and Beast Boy the good news.

*****

Over the next few weeks Robin gets settled in a new room at the tower. Access to his old one along with Starfire's room has been closed off out of respect for the departed teammates. There hasn't been much trouble since what happened now almost a month and a half ago-but things are starting to pick up. Cyborg and Beast Boy are very glad they have someone they can trust there to stay with Raven-especially now that they know she has a problem with her powers.

Robin is very impressed with how well Cyborg and Beast Boy have been handling things on their own. He never expected them to be able to do this without bringing in some new team members. Cyborg and Beast Boy are out running errands and Raven is taking a nap so Robin is down in the evidence room looking around. Hidden among the objects is the dagger and note that Slade returned to Raven. As he reads the note he vows to himself that he will do whatever it takes to save Raven and the baby even if it kills him-again. As he leaves the evidence room Robin hears a scream coming from Raven's room. He quickly makes his way there and is glad to find the door unlocked. Entering the room he finds Raven thrashing about and crying out in her sleep. He rushes over to her and sits beside her as he wakes her up. "Wake up...its only a bad dream."

Finally Raven settles down and opens her eyes. Relieved to find that Cyborg and Beast Boy aren't there as she sits up and clings to Robin as she cries. "Please don't tell Cyborg or Beast Boy."

"Why don't you want them to know?"

"Because I'm afraid that they will take me back to that psychologist--I don't want to go back there."

"Just calm down--"

"--Please promise me you won't let them take me back there."

"You have my word, Raven." Robin waits until Raven starts to calm down before he speaks again. "Why are you so afraid they will make you go back?"

"Because of the nightmares. Most nights I stay awake because of them. Cyborg made me promise to talk to him but he doesn't understand--not about this."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"The longer you let it go-the worse your nightmares will be. Is it about what happened to you?"

"Sometimes. But mostly its about the ones that killed Starfire. They want my baby-I think they're the ones that made Robin...the worst part of that night is what I said to him. I was scared...I didn't mean it. He was the only one who really understood me. I thought that he would know I didn't mean it."

"I'm sure he knows that and he would have given anything if he could have gone back and stopped it all from happening."

"Yeah...I know he would, but still I just wish I could tell him that I'm sorry."

Robin just sits there quietly as Raven lays back down and drifts off to sleep. He watches her for sometime before he gets up and walks to the door. There he pauses and turns back to Raven. "Don't worry he knows."

*****

Robin looks up as Cyborg enters the room.

"How did it go with Raven today."

"Not bad she has been asleep for most of the day."

"Did the nightmares wake her again?"

"Yeah-she made me promise not to let you take her back to the doctor."

"I should have known that was a bad idea in the first place-I just didn't know what else to do. Robin was the only one she would talk to."

"Maybe she just needs time. She doesn't seem like the type of person who opens up to others easily."

"I'm just worried about her-she's like a sister to me. I've lost too many friends already. I couldn't stand it if I just stood back-did nothing and let something happen to Raven too. Part of me will be glad when this is all over...I just wish I knew what Slade has planned."

"Slade?"

"Beast Boy is convinced that he has turned good. I don't by it-he sent some stuff to Raven. I think he was just trying to gain her trust so that he can be around to kidnap her baby.

"What if Beast Boy is right? People can change."

"Not this guy. I want to believe it that he is only looking out for Raven. With the vision she had before she lost her powers, I just don't by it."

"Vision?"

"Raven has them sometimes-she thought at first it meant he wanted the baby."

"And now?"

"She met this priest once-over at the catholic church. She hasn't been scared of Slade since."

-------

Raven has been sleeping peacefully ever since Robin left her. As she wakes up she realizes this has been the first restful sleep that she had since what happened. She woke up because of her dreams but they weren't nightmares this time. She thinks they're strange because she dreamed of the past-memories of time spent with Robin. Strangely though in her dreams Richard appeared in place of Robin and Raven isn't quite sure what that means. As she gets up and prepares to take a shower Raven wonders if the dreams are because Richard reminds her so much of Robin or if they have some deeper meaning.


	7. Chapter 7

**This might seem like the end of the story, but there is epilogue that will go up next week. There is a sequel, but right now I don't know when I will get around to writing it.**

Chasing Forever

Several days later Slade makes his way into the tower via a secret underground entrance he created before Terra betrayed him. Once inside the tower Slade quietly makes his way to Raven's room.

Raven looks up from her book when the door slides open. "Slade?"

"They are coming for you. You must get to safety."

"What about the others?"

As Robin walks down the corridor toward Raven's room he hears voices. Knowing that only the two of them should be in the tower he rushes to her room to find Slade there. "They're here?"

Slade looks up to see Robin in the doorway. He merely nods his head. "Get her to safety, I will do what I can."

Raven looks up at Richard clearly confused. "You know what's going on?"

Robin takes Raven hand and leads her out of the room and down the hall. "Come on we have to get you to the safe room." Once there Robin stands there for a few moments just staring at Raven. "Please stay here-you'll be safe-they won't be able to get to you."

"Where are you going?"

"To help Slade end this."

As they reach the safe room and Robin leaves her there Raven is forced to wonder just how he knows about this room. The night Cyborg asked Richard to come stay here-they agreed to keep this room a secret. The only other people to ever know about it were Starfire and...Robin. It suddenly hits Raven as to why she felt from the moment she met Richard that she could trust him-why she had all those dreams of memories where Richard replaced Robin-that Robin's real name is Richard. Richard is..."Robin!" The door has been locked and without her powers Raven can't get out. She stands there banging on the door calling out to him even though she knows the room is sound proofed and no one can hear her unless they are in the control room.

Cyborg and Beast Boy come back from stopping the latest attacking villain-when they can't find Raven or Richard-they go to the safe room. Cyborg opens the door to find Raven there. "What's going on?"

Raven leaves the room and starts running down the hallway. "He's here."

As they follow Raven-both Cyborg and Beast Boy believe she is talking about Slade. Raven however is talking about Robin. They follow Raven up to the roof-only to find Richard and the priest battling the same cloaked figures that killed Starfire. They watch as one of them pins their new friend.

Suddenly Raven's powers return-her hands start to glow black. "No! You will not harm him!" The cloaked figures are suddenly lifted up and thrown away from Robin in a burst of dark energy.

Slade gets up and turns toward Raven. "Get out of here-now!."

"No-this ends now!"

The cloaked figures turn to Raven as dark energy swirls around her. They back up sizing up the situation. The girl was not supposed to be able to use her powers.

Unleashing her soul self Raven grabs onto all the cloaked figures and deposits them into a portal that opens up.

Robin rushes over to Raven as she collapses once the portal is gone. "You shouldn't have come up here."

Raven just stares at him for a few seconds. "Robin..." She starts to cry as she buries herself in his arms.

Beast Boy looks from Raven to the guy he's known as Richard-but always thought just somehow-someway might be Robin. "I knew it!"

Cyborg moves closer to Robin. "Is it really you?"

"Yeah-I was brought back to watch over Raven and the baby." Robin holds Raven close as she continues to cry. "Everything is okay-don't cry."

"What happens now? I don't want to let you go."

Robin gently tilts her head up so he can look into her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere-not for a long time."

Cyborg looks up at the priest. "I saw you before--"

"I was merely warning Raven what was to come." Slade walks away leaving the Titans alone.

Cyborg watches him leave. "Who was that guy."

Robin looks up at Cyborg. "A friend."

"Dude, why didn't you tell us it was really you?"

"They killed Star and I for a reason. I had to make sure they didn't know I was back."

"And just how...?"

"It's a long story."

*****

Later that night Robin finds Raven sitting on the rocks over looking the ocean as the stars come out.

Raven looks over at Robin as he sits down beside her. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"When I woke up in this body-I saw Starfire-she told me that I had to let you all find out on your own. Besides would you have believed me if I had told you?"

"On some level I think I knew all along. I just didn't realize it until you left me there in that safe room."

"Look-Rae-I really am sorry about that night-I didn't want to hurt you."

"It wasn't your fault...I always knew that. I was scared-I didn't really mean what I said that night. I just wanted you to leave so I could get it over with."

"You mean killing yourself?"

"Yes."

"I know nothing will ever be the same after what happened-but can we still be friends."

"I think we proved we can over the last few weeks. There is one thing that bothers me though."

"What's that?"

"How many others are still out there."

"Hopefully none." Robin turns to look at Raven. "Your scars are gone."

"It must be because of my powers-they weren't gone after all. I stopped feeling when our bond was lost-I was numb inside. My powers must have become dormant because they're driven by my emotions. When I realized who you were that numbness started to go away." Raven turns to Robin and looks him in the eyes. "I'm just glad that you are back now-and that the baby will be able to know her father." The two sit silently staring out over the ocean for several minutes before Raven speaks again. "I was wrong"

"About what?"

"That vision I had before my powers were gone...I thought that Slade was coming back to kidnap me before the baby was born. It was really about Slade coming to help us. Good thing you didn't tell Cyborg who he was."

"I hope this is over--but if not we are going to have to tell him."

Raven looks over at Robin. "So are you going to be a part of the team again?"

"Maybe-but as Nightwing."

"Starfire said you went by that name in the future she saw."

"Yeah...I...I think I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"The night Starfire died I kept wondering why in that future Starfire told us about-would I let her be sent back knowing that she was going to die."

"Starfire was watching over us this whole time wasn't she?"

"I only saw her a few times, but I think she was working with Slade to keep an eye on those...people."

"Does that mean the future still has to happen the way she saw it? There were no Titans in the future."

"I don't know what happened to cause that-but I hope that in the future when Starfire appears and brings everyone together it will stay that way."


	8. Chapter 8

**I keep having to come to come out to check my email about a job offer several times a week-so I figured while I'm waiting I might as well have something to show for the trip-even if its only updating my stories.**

Epilogue (seven and a half months later)

Nightwing nervously paces the waiting room at the hospital. Everything had been fine when Raven first went into labor-but now she is in the O. R. undergoing an emergency c-section. He finally sits down and turns his attention to a folded up piece of paper that Raven gave him just before she was taken to the O. R. He unfolds it to find a legal document giving him custody of the baby if anything happens to Raven. Nightwing is scared that is happening again-that he is going to lose someone else close to him. He wishes he still had a bond with Raven-at least that way he would know if she is okay or not. He wants to believe in the future that Starfire told them all about-but right now his fear that he may lose Raven is all he can focus on. He realizes that Starfire was right-he has needed Raven just as much as she needed him. As he looks up a nurse enters the waiting room-he looks around to find that he is the only one in the room. Nervously he stands up as the nurse approaches him.

"Raven is asking to see you."

"She's okay?"

"She is fine."

Nightwing breathes a sigh of relief as he follows the nurse down the hall to the room Raven is in. He just stands there in the doorway as the nurse leaves and watches Raven as she holds the baby girl in her arms. The baby has black hair-she's pale but not as much as Raven-and her eyes are violet. "She's beautiful. Do you still want to name her Penguin?"

"No--I can't believe I thought of that. It must've been that penguin movie Beast Boy dragged me to-it was pretty good actually."

"That doesn't strike me as your type of movie."

"You're right-it must have been the hormones affecting me. I think the baby's name should be Wren-it just feels right somehow. Wren Koriandr-in honor of Starfire."

"Star would like that." Nightwing enters the room and sits down beside the bed. "Why did you give me the paper before they took you into the O. R.?"

"I meant to give it to you after Wren was born. I was scared when the doctor said I had to have a c-section. I wanted you to have it then in case anything went wrong. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm just glad that both you and Wren are okay."

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Are you sure?"

"She is your daughter too." Raven places the baby in Nightwing's arms.

As he holds the baby Nightwing wonders just what Starfire meant when she told him the baby is special. He notices, as the baby seems to giggle and move its hand as if trying to grab at something. Nightwing looks up to see Starfire there just like he saw her the day he woke up. As Cyborg and Beast Boy come into the room carrying arm loads of presents for the baby Nightwing looks back at Raven-he realizes that the Titans are together again.

* * *

**I know a lot of this story was vague to begin with and none of the re-writes really cleared that up--but I hope that will be cleared up when I get around to working on the sequel. I give you the reader a chance to have a say in the coming sequel; "Now is Forever." Leave a review and let me know if you would like to see Terra come back.**


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